Welcome to the Outhouse Basement
Todays Top Turds:
"Send me money or I'll kill this tree!"

 

 

LCD Dating Services - When all other options fail, opt for the Lowest Common Denominator.

 

 

GET CASH WHEN YOU MAIL US YOUR GOLD!!!
CASH FOR GOLD!!! Don't trust a dirty pawnbroker, trust us... an internet advertiser. What could be suspicious about that? ;-)
Get Cash for your gold today!
Mail Us Your Jewelry and maybe We'll Send You What You Think It's Worth!
Desperate for money?
Send us your cherished family heirlooms and we might send you a check for nearly dozens of dollars!

Losing your home? Behind on child support? Need some smack? We pay cash!

Rings - watches – earrings – teeth. We buy it all!

We pay up to $12.00 per pound of pure gold. WOW!

Why trust a dirty pawnbroker? Send us your gold today! Also, please send any bottles of Boone's Farm wine you can spare.

Send your valuables now to:
Samantha "Snaggletooth" Nelson
Rusty 1987 Chevy Van
Abandoned nearby a homeless shelter
San Berdardino, CA
(please do not send money here, dipshit. This is a parody and not a real address. This warning necessitated by the thousands of hungry lawyers graduating each year and the thousands of bottom feeders who hire them rather than earn an honest living of reward through hard work. America at its finest? -Ed.)

We don't pay at least 17% more than you’d get from our competitors – guaranteed!

THis is a parody. DO NOT send us or anyone else your gold in the mail. DON'T BE A NITWIT.
To reiterate, yet again, for legal reasons pertaining to the completely stupid portion of our population, this is not a real company or service. You shouldn't mail your gold or valuables to anyone, ever.